Setbacks and Successes

It’s the week of the wedding, and as soon as I start to get truly excited someone or something comes along and rains on my parade. I don’t care if it’s realistic to understand that it MIGHT rain on Saturday or something likely won’t go according to plan … but to have complete strangers (at least 5) come up to me at church the week of my wedding and “encourage” me with comments about the aforementioned things THE WEEK of my wedding — it’s just rude. If you don’t have something nice to say to me this week, please just DON’T say anything at all. Also, it seems weddings magnify life’s problems tremendously. It surfaces issues that I knew existed, but apparently didn’t know how deep the conflict went. That’s all I’ll say about that. Yesterday was just extremely frustrating.

In exciting news: Jonathan and I have the house almost totally put together. We spent Friday evening putting shower gifts away, and got all our new dishes, silverware, bowls, etc. washed (a HUGE thank you to my future mother-in-law for that!) and put away in their kitchen place. We got boxes taken out to the trash, bags of garbage collected. It was a seriously productive evening.

Saturday, Jonathan focused on cleaning up the outside of the house and I focused on cleaning up the inside. We are having the rehearsal dinner here and want people to see the house as it will actually look (or close) instead of wedding chaos. So Jonathan trimmed bushes, pulled weeds, destroyed a flower bed that had turned into a jungle. I brought some of my stuff over from my apartment to try and figure out where it fit. I reorganized our closet so that Jonathan’s clothes only takes up half and mine have plenty of room. I also started sorting out what clothes I want to pack for the honeymoon! Eek! I also cleaned the master bathroom (can I just say it will take some getting used to living with a boy??), dusted the whole house, and vacuumed the whole house! We watched a movie in the evening so I could get all of our programs done.

Sunday, the Colts played football so I sealed and return addressed all 81 bridal shower thank you notes. I also finished our picture slideshows, and Jonathan burned CDs with music for the ceremony. We also packed and moved another 4 boxes of odds and ends from my apartment. Seriously, that place has a bed, 4 outfits of clothing, and stuff to take a shower. And a love seat that is too heavy for me to help move.

I’m thrilled with how much we accomplished this weekend. Only a few more days of preparation before it’s time for celebration! Can I just say … the thing that has been the most exciting this week is how excited Jonathan is 🙂 You know how at the end of a school year (typically right before graduation, but not necessarily), students get really excited and start counting the lasts? “This is the last time in this classroom,” “This is the last time I will ride this bus,” “This is the last lunch I have to pack for a whole summer.” Jonathan has been doing that all weekend! “This is the last Sunday we won’t be married.” This is the last Saturday night we will spend apart,” “Today is my last Monday of work as an unmarried guy.” His co-workers have already started teasing him about it and he’s only done in it front of them for one day! I seriously love that man .. and I’m just tickled pink that I get to marry him on Saturday! ON SATURDAY!! That’s this week!!!

10 Days.

There are 10 days until the wedding. I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep in about 5 days. I toss and turn, anxious about everything and nothing. I get to hot or too cold, or nauseous or crowded. My stomach is upset at least a few hours everyday. Sometimes I’m hungry and sometimes I’m not. This morning I woke up feeling so awful I’ve been working my way through  a box of saltines all morning. It’s too cold at work. It’s too hot outside. My desk chair at work is uncomfortable and the couch at home is too unsupportive. I’m ready for this to be done … my body is not reacting well to the stress.

In other news, painting is ALMOST completely done. We need to finish one wall in the game room where we ran out of paint, then paint the foyer (it’s going to be the same color as the incomplete wall), and do a final coat in the office to cover any little white spot that show through. This week and weekend are completely focused on finishing those final things we haven’t done. We’re moving all my non-essentials this weekend, cleaning like crazy, doing yard work, finishing any final wedding projects, shopping for a few things, and packing for the honeymoon! My hope is that if we can finish all of these projects by the end of the weekend, I might actually be able to enjoy next week. We’ve got people coming in from out of town and I would hate to work on last-minute projects when we could be spending time with people we rarely see (and some I’ve never met).

The next 9  days can’t go fast enough. I can’t wait until September 15th … I get to marry the man of my dreams and then go lay on a beach for a week 🙂 There is nothing better than that!

The Hermitage

Wedding planning has becoming so overwhelming that I decided to become a hermit. Unfortunately it’s not that easy. See we’ve already made plans with a lot of people for the next 2 and half weeks … I’m just tired of being asked how wedding plans are coming. I’m tired of trying to “focus” on 5 different things at once. I’m tired of making small talk. I’m tired of trying to be positive and peppy. I’m just tired.

As an introvert, I regain my energy from being alone. It’s been a while since I’ve had some good quality alone time. I work all day in a office full of people, and with no office of my own, so there are people walking past my desk all the time. Sometimes they stop and talk, sometimes they don’t. I ate lunch alone in my car today because I didn’t want to eat at Subway (where there were people), but I didn’t really want to eat with my co-workers either (I’m just not in the mood to chat). Weekends are typically spent with his family or mine, and sometimes both. When we’re not with family, we’re at church where there are hundreds of people who have “personal relationships” with us. Lots of small talk there. Weeknights have recently been some wedding project or another — not exactly a recharging activity.

All and all I am anxious for the wedding to be over. I just want to be married. Go on vacation. Go back to normal life where people talk about things unrelated to wedding planning. Even when I’m not talking to someone about the wedding, I’m thinking about all of the things I probably should be doing. I probably should be writing thank you notes on my lunch break. I probably need to start/finish some of the crafty projects I decided “would be easy”. I probably should read the marriage book Jonathan and I were given.

I probably just need to take an evening to myself … take a long shower … paint my nails … and eat ice cream. Yes. I think that would fix it.