We Weren’t Really Living

Sunday night, Jonathan and I rented a movie and ordered a pizza. A stopping point between one busy week and the next. He looked over to me and said, “Does it feel like we weren’t really living before?”

I knew exactly what he meant. Before we moved up here, we lived in a small town. The closest fast food restaurant was at least 20 minutes away. Our hobbies … were eating and watching television. And our church activities consisted of Wednesday night band rehearsal and Sunday morning service. During our first year of marriage, our life was lazy – and we were okay with it. We didn’t realize we weren’t really living.

Now, we are part of a church that loves to have get togethers, play recreational sports, host meals, and have events outside of Sunday mornings. It’s been a change, but we have more friendships, more opportunities to serve, and more to stay busy. We’re reading through the Bible in a year, with accountability from another couple at church. We spend time dreaming about what we can do to make our ministry better, and how we can stretch ourselves outside our comfort zones to meet the needs of others.

We’ve starting maintaining a fitness routine, which has given us more things to do together, more time to talk, and more things to talk about. If you told me a year ago that 30-60% of our conversations would involve exercise and healthy eating, I would have laughed at you.

Jonathan just spent a week at youth camp, and while he was gone I could have easily binge watched a whole new television series. Instead, I read two and a half books, editing a wedding video, and tried new recipes. I watched a few shows, but the DVR is no where near cleaned out.

We are living now. Staying busy, being active, pursuing new goals and challenges. During year one, our marriage grew through the transitions: adjusting to living together, sharing spaces & things, dealing with family, managing expectations, and dealing with the loss of a senior minister. Our second year has grown our marriage through overcoming obstacles: moving to a new location, trusting God with our shelter, buying a home, living with family, learning to live healthy, and prioritizing time with each other among busy schedules.

I’m excited about the potential our marriage has to continue growing as our life continues to change. I hope no two years are the same, and I welcome the challenges of the future.

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