Wedding planning has becoming so overwhelming that I decided to become a hermit. Unfortunately it’s not that easy. See we’ve already made plans with a lot of people for the next 2 and half weeks … I’m just tired of being asked how wedding plans are coming. I’m tired of trying to “focus” on 5 different things at once. I’m tired of making small talk. I’m tired of trying to be positive and peppy. I’m just tired.
As an introvert, I regain my energy from being alone. It’s been a while since I’ve had some good quality alone time. I work all day in a office full of people, and with no office of my own, so there are people walking past my desk all the time. Sometimes they stop and talk, sometimes they don’t. I ate lunch alone in my car today because I didn’t want to eat at Subway (where there were people), but I didn’t really want to eat with my co-workers either (I’m just not in the mood to chat). Weekends are typically spent with his family or mine, and sometimes both. When we’re not with family, we’re at church where there are hundreds of people who have “personal relationships” with us. Lots of small talk there. Weeknights have recently been some wedding project or another — not exactly a recharging activity.
All and all I am anxious for the wedding to be over. I just want to be married. Go on vacation. Go back to normal life where people talk about things unrelated to wedding planning. Even when I’m not talking to someone about the wedding, I’m thinking about all of the things I probably should be doing. I probably should be writing thank you notes on my lunch break. I probably need to start/finish some of the crafty projects I decided “would be easy”. I probably should read the marriage book Jonathan and I were given.
I probably just need to take an evening to myself … take a long shower … paint my nails … and eat ice cream. Yes. I think that would fix it.