it takes two to tango

I am a people watcher. I like watching how people interact with other people.  Lately, I’ve been paying more attention to couples and their dynamic with one another.  I’ve decided that people who try and have a “serious” relationship, are just that: serious. They don’t look happy to be with each other, they are rarely smiling or laughing.  They walk, holding hands, to some unforeseen location while talking quietly about something that I presume does not make them happy, judging from the looks on their faces. They sit at a table quietly talking, but they don’t look like they are enjoying themselves.  I understand that not every moment is always happy, and not everything in a relationship is all about smiling and giggling. 

Maybe I’m wrong to assume these couples are unhappy. They are obviously content enough to be in a relationship with each other. They like each other well enough; they’re  sitting together, or talking, or holding hands. They just look …. bored. 

I used to always dream of finding some guy who would sweep me off my feet, pursue me, romance me.  The guys I’ve observed must have decided they won the pursuit already and given up on romancing. They got the girl, why should they need to do anything more? The girls have obviously just become used to this treatment, and perhaps have forgotten what it feels like to be pursued.  It’s disappointing that this has become the mindset of our generation.  Women want to be independent and free to pursue a career.  Men have stepped back from chivalry because they wonder what the point is? Women want equal rights, we’ll treat them the same way we treat guys too. My dream is that guys will lose this mentality and girls will appreciate what little chivalry is left. Maybe if we do this, chivalry doesn’t have to be dead.

A relationship should be like a dance. A waltz, a tango, a salsa at times. Both people need to work as two separate entities, but in sync, moving together as one, to make the dance look beautiful. But if one is complacent and content with just being, just standing there, the dance will start to look awkward and forced.  If both people are complacent, the dance slows to a grinding halt. A dance becomes a standstill. Two people simply being, not actively doing.  

Relationships are not about just standing with each other. The dance is the fun part, the tricky part. Keeping it going, even when you get tired. The slow music, for the sad times. The tango for the fun times. There is a dance for every “occasion” of the relationship. 

Let me just say, this doesn’t just apply to dating relationships.  I’ve never been in a dating relationship, but I know I how much work it can be to keep up a simple friendship. Sometimes it means dancing even when it seems like the other person has stopped. I can’t just give up because something may be temporarily awkward.  I need to work through whatever it may be that is causing this awkward dance to ensue. The dance can get rejuvenated if I work hard enough. But alas, some dances must come to an end at some point, just as some relationships end. Things just happen, and staying friends with some people can’t last forever.  

Whether a relationship lasts forever, or ends tomorrow, it always takes two to tango.

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